#28 | moving in place
can I be allowed to hold on and wait for her? she doesn't have to know. I'll hold this secret close, just for her and me, long enough where it either crumbles and slips through my fingers, relinquishing my heart to whatever comes next, or she wanders back and finds me. I can take care of myself, I can I can I can. I can feed myself, do my own laundry, make new friends, but this idea after a breakup that you regrow your life around someone's absence is one I don't understand. I cannot move forward; I can tread water more skillfully over time, maybe even kick around in circles, but I feel for years our memories will be the only thing keeping me afloat. her presence was not a gap that can just be filled. we were everything to each other. I feel split in two.